Anna Holubtsova was getting ready to sing at the concert organised in Kyiv by the Bakhmut administration, exiled since Russian forces devastated and seized their eastern Ukrainian city.
The last time AFP saw Holubtsova was in October 2022, when she was standing next to the burning house of her neighbour, destroyed by a rocket.
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Over two years later she refuses to give up on the hope to see her hometown back under the Ukrainian flag.
“Maybe I am a dreamer or a fairytale maker. But I have said and will continue to say that my family will be one of the first to return and rebuild Bakhmut,” she said.
That prospect is growing tenuous.
Ukraine’s army is on the backfoot in most parts of the front while Russia presses on with its advantage ahead of the inauguration next month of US president-elect Donald Trump.
Trump has boasted he would quickly end the war, raising fears that Washington may force Kyiv into ceding the almost 20 percent of its territory now occupied by Russia.
For the diaspora, this mean potentially never going home.
- ‘Lived one more day’ -
Around a hundred Bakhmut exiles were lining up to get tea, biscuits and oranges next to a stand where children participated in a Christmas decoration workshop.
The event was organised by Bakhmut’s exiled city administration and Lyudmyla Bondareva, who oversees the humanitarian centre for Bakhmut refugees in Kyiv.
The crowd slowly made its way into the concert hall, where people watched, clapped and teared up as community members followed one another on stage.
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When Holubtsova sang, some of the audience stood up waving their arms to the music.
After a short interruption from Santa Claus, the concert ended with a military orchestra whose singers danced with children.
“This distracts us. It helps us stay afloat, even just a bit,” said Natalya Zyzyaeva, 63.
She said one of her neighbours had been shot dead on her way to a henhouse.
Another was buried in the vegetable garden.
Zyzyaeva made her way with her daughter to Kyiv, where she was struggling to rent a one-room apartment.
“We are not making any plans. We lived one more day? Thanks be to God,” she said.
“Where should we go back to? We have nowhere to go back to. We don’t have a home anymore.”
- Keep hoping -
The battle for Bakhmut between summer 2022 and May 2023 devastated the city.
Satellite images of the town, once home to 70,000, show buildings reduced to rubble on scorched land.
“It’s all been destroyed, so we can’t even think of returning yet,” said Olena Rudyk, 65.
Rudyk, a retired musician, preferred talking about the city’s famous sparkling wine its parks that she loved.
“The whole town was covered in flowerbeds, flowerbeds of roses. There were parks everywhere, and the central promenade was gorgeous,” she said.
As the war nears its third year anniversary, polls show growing public willingness to give up some of the territory Russia captured for the sake of peace.
Some 53.2 percent of Ukrainians say Ukraine should keep fighting for all its territories -- a significant drop from 76.2 percent in 2023, the New Europe Center said.
The Kyiv Institute for Sociology in a separate poll found that 46 percent of Ukrainians would be ready to accept giving up Donbas and Crimea.
But Holubtsova refuses to give up.
“I think that dreams are what push us to live on, to presevere and keep moving. So please, dream, hope, wait and everything will come true.”
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